Fudzies

Me: Mal, come on baby, it's time for lunch.
Mal: (from the other room) Yeah Momma, I'ma gettin' a the fudzies out.
That was quickly followed by this. Nice.
Getting the "fudzies" out from between one's toes apparently trumps lunch. Thankfully she forgot about her toes at least long enough to finish her grapes.

Potty

Here's a funny story I received in a email to preface a real-life funny story that happened at our house the other day:

A Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little tea set as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know...) "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Now for the real-life story:

Potty

The other day Mallory was playing while I was doing some things around the house. I knew she was playing with some of my candles. She does this often, likes to have us smell them ("momma smell?? mmm...good") and she takes the wicks out and puts them back in, lines them up in a row, whatever.

I could hear her running around with the dogs and giggling but I didn't know exactly what she was doing. Well, you know what they say, a quiet toddler is surely a sign of mischief. After a couple minutes I figured I should investigate. She had a handful of candles, but I could see that the wicks were all missing. Here is what unfolded...

Me: "Honey, where are the wicks?"

Mallory: blank stare

Me, pointing at the candle: "Mal, where are the things that go in here?"

Mallory: "Potty."

Me, laughing: "Potty?"

Mallory: "Potty!"

Me, giggling: "Can you show me?"

Mallory runs to the bathroom and sure enough...

Moral of the story:
I have no idea, but I laughed pretty hard and thought you might too.

She's cute, but STILL!

Isn't she adorable???

Then why can her behaviors be SO maddening?? :)

I thought it was time for excerpts from the joys of toddlerhood and things that Mallory is teaching us. It's a fun game we (she) plays. It's called "She knows EXACTLY what she wants and can't wait for Mommy or Daddy to try and try and try to figure out what it is". Doesn't that sound awesome??

In no particular order... (for some reason they all revolve around food)

1. Just because she wants her banana peeled and cut up one day (with a fork please, momma), does not mean this will work the next day. No, I don't want it out of the peel ... give me the whole banana. But wait, did I say I wanted the whole banana with peel, no...here you can have the peel. On second (third?) thought, can I just have an apple?

2. Oooh grapes! Yes please! Oh, well, thanks for putting them in a bowl like you did yesterday when I devoured them, but today that just won't do. It appears I'm not hungry. Oh ... hey, is that the "vine" (is that what it's called?) they come attached to? Let me see that. Just that, not the grapes. Oh, way to go, Mom, after three attempts, you figured it out! I want the grapes ON the vine, then I will pick each one off, put them in the (same) bowl ... here's the empty vine, boy that was fun. Oh, good ... look GRAPES! Just what I wanted - YUM!

3. Hey Momma, whatcha eatin?? Oh, is that oatmeal? What's that you say? I have some in my bowl already - it's the same oatmeal you're eating?? Oh, well can I have yours anyway? I just want to be sure. And I'd like a different spoon. I'm done with these plastic children's spoons. I want a big one, like yours. It makes the oatmeal taste WAY different.

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This does not fall into the super-frustrating-every-parent-must-play-the-guessing-game-of-their-toddler category, but thought you'd find it equally fun and awesome. (yes, I felt bad at the time.)

It doesn't matter if your child acts like she feels fine, maybe it was an upset stomach, maybe it was spoiled milk she had before bed (it smelled fine), there will be nights when she throws up everywhere.

TWICE.

Lots of yuck, two late night baths, two sheet changes, two sets of new jammies, did I mention a plugged drain that renders your washing machine useless at the moment? Lovely. Today is a new day and Casey actually said, "I love being a dad, this isn't so bad, it's just puke." It's true.

Edited to add: I also must say, I have no problem cleaning up the yuckiness, at all. But last night helped me realize I am almost physically incapable of breathing through my mouth and I don't think pregnancy helps my gag reflex.

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Oh...and one last tidbit...child safety locks are great, aren't they? We have one on our pantry to avoid tantrums when Mallory thinks it's snack time, but it's really not. :) However, it stopped being cool and CHILD SAFE when she pulled the door open only to realize she couldn't open it all the way ... then proceeded to bang it shut, smashing her fingers in the door. GREAT. Live and learn, I guess, but not really the message we were trying to send.

Check back ... you can bet there will be more fun ahead!